Watching a Bollywood movie has it’s own pleasures which one can never experience in Hollywood movies. Where on earth (patal-lok) otherwise would you get a chance to admire the fabulous mix of mind boggling creativity that surpasses all the laws of physics, chemistry, biology and even psychology. So never skip one.
Watch all of them. There is a great variety in the genre of both makers and takers. Infact a simple average (weighted average would be very bulky!) of all our Bollywood movies would result in to something as extreme as a cartoon show or a new adventure sport.
In Hollywood, Kutte (101 Dalmatians) Kaminey (Inglorious Bastards) and Khoon Pi jane wale (Dracula) are showcased in three different movies. But in our Bollywood hero bestows the honor in one line.
In Hollywood the hero has Maa (mother) as well as Bangla (Mansion), Gadi (Car), Bank Balance, Debit Card, Credit Card, Stocks, Bonds, ESOPS and much more. He, his Bhai and Maa all of them enjoy these fixed/current assets together. But in Bollywood the hero has to draw a decision tree to evaluate the alternatives.
In Hollywood, if the hero has lost his arms (here i mean hands and not weapons!) in a fight with villain, he uses his brains to vanquish him. In Bollywood, however, the hero is confident that brains alone are not sufficient and legs that are freely available and underutilized must be put to use.
In a Hollywood movie when a ship is about to sink, it does sink. No natural or supernatural force prevents it from sinking. Not even the muscular force of hero’s arm which weighs about 5 pounds (i.e. Dhai-kilo) and given a chance, it can easily uproot hand-pump. But in a Bollywood movie the hero can just pull the sunken ship out of water and sail across the ocean with the same ship. It does not end here. Post this adventure he sings a song merrily on the deck. Other passengers who had drowned in the ocean, can now be seen dancing behind the hero and heroine in the same song.
Don’t you forget that in a Hollywood movie every bullet does it’s job very well. It is supposed to kill or at least sufficiently injure the person whom it hits. It does’t wait for hero’s permission to kill him. But again, in a Bollywood movie, hero is immune to bullets. Any number of them cannot kill him, unless he decides to die. Moreover he does not decide to die until he has finished all his dialogues, passed over some secret or blessed somebody around him. Remember if he dies immediately, the movie gets two and half stars!
And then finally….here is ‘the’ difference which was, is and will remain as a point of distinction between Hollywood and Bollywood…Hollywood may have produced Batman, Spiderman, Superman, Man of Steel, Man of Iron, Hollow Man, Men with Mask, Men in Black, White or even Zebra colour etc…etc…etc…
Bollywood has Rajnikant!